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Valerie D. Johnson

Mindset #4 Our Emotions and Mental health Pt.2


Our Health


When we are sick, whether it be the flu or some other physical ailment, it is hard to function at our absolute best because of the limitations associated with being sick. If you are like me, you work hard to do whatever it takes to get well. You go to the doctor, get medication or find the best natural health remedy.


One of the first questions I ask the doctor is, “How long will this last?” To date, if I feel like I am coming down with something, I will take immediate action to get ahead of it. I avoid getting sick at all costs. When told I was borderline hypertensive, I stopped using salt and began minimizing high sodium foods in my diet.


A doctor’s prognosis will definitely challenge you to get it together so you can physically be at your best. My desire to stay healthy certainly drives me to take better care of myself. I always want to be at my best; I am most effective when I feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually.


Our Mental Health



Have you ever had heartache so bad you needed sleep or felt sick to your stomach? Ever advised a friend going through a break-up to not make any rash decisions? Here’s why.

Forbes.com reports that rejection and physical pain are the same to your brain. Research conducted by Case Western Reserve University determined an immediate drop in reasoning by 30% and in IQ by 25% in persons exposed to rejection. I was blown away by this fact.

Emotional pain is remembered and felt much longer than physical pain and can also turn into an addiction. Battered wife syndrome is an example. These abused women have learned to live with negative emotions and dysfunction. Also, people who have experienced abandonment, especially by a mother, can suffer from emotional addictions and develop all kinds of issues. Therefore, our mental and emotional health does matter.


The issue is that we don’t treat our physical and mental health the same, but we should. For instance, when you have been hurt or rejected or have had traumatic experiences, any of these things would cause your heart to ache, to be broken. That is a real thing. If un-dealt with, they will hinder you from being your best self. Just like our bodies, the heart must be healed.


Treating the symptoms will not address the cause. Many people live their lives with damaged hearts and never get healed. They don’t realize that they are not being the best they can be because they have become immune to the damaged heart, so they keep going. It always comes to the surface and it shows through the person’s personality and behavior. We ALL deal with some kind of issue, but not all of us allow that issue to control our lives.


Going back through my Facebook posts, I ran across the following post that I believe aptly fits this discussion:


If you don't deal with your issues, they will eventually deal with you! Pain, trauma, grief, unforgiveness, bitterness can all manifest themselves years later through depression, anger, unhealthy relation


ships, addictions (food, sex, alcohol), suicide, dangerous and destructive behavior, obsessions with attention – when everything is about you, people-pleasing, negative comments about everything, numb to hurting people, arrogance, untrusting, and so on. It absolutely can make you blind to the ways the un-dealt-with issues have consumed your life. It's time to let go so you can live your best life.



People are stuck at the age they were traumatized.

Have you ever seen someone who seems to have it together, but in relationships, they mistreat their significant other or are always displaying childish behavior? I know people like this who don’t even recognize their childish behavior.


What about the person who has control issues? If you ever have an intimate conversation with them, you will most likely find that at some point they lost control, or someone took control from them and they vowed never to lose it again. That traumatic experience has caused them to be overbearing, perhaps resulting in destroying relationships, interrupting the work environment, and so on.


If you wonder whether the difficult issues you face are affecting your life, you should evaluate yourself. I have people in my life who point stuff out to me. If you want to be the best, you will – by any means necessary – put things and people in place to help you. I once asked a friend, “If you could suggest an area that I need to work on, what would it be?” The response was shocking because I had never considered this revelation. By the time I got to the root, it was revealed that I had been hurt in my past, and the issue was manifesting itself in subtle negative behaviors.



Excerpts from WOW! I Needed to Know THAT! by Valerie D. Johnson

lifewithvaldee.net @lifewithvaldee


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